HIATUS.
i need a little break before my temper gets the better side of me.

EDITED
promise to blog everything tml that is, if i finish my winter clean up

RE-EDITED
decided to blog with my temper before my stm kicks in and i forgot what i wanted to blog.

-RANTINGS-
I dont care who read this.
I dont want or need any actions taken AFTER YOU BLOODY READ THIS.
I dont want to hear any apologies.
I dont want you to take any mind in whatever im gonna type after.
I dont care. kay?
I dont fcuking need you to feel guilty.

this doesnt concern any of my family members, i love them so much although i dont express it in the normal fillial way. it doesnt concern Dennis kor either, i owe him too much. lols.
yea, if you fall outside of those i mention above. i MAY or MAY NOT be talking about you. but be 90% sure that im pointing at you.

im just gonna guess that we drifted apart. so much. be it by continent, by the holiday, by my neglectance. i hate it. you guys can lie about having no money all that, or no time, or wad reasons you can come up with. best yet. that you cant cycle. and you can just go out with other people.. like wth? i duno seriously. i dont know what to think when i knew it. to continue believing in you. or just erase it and act blur cos we're not gonna be seeing each others daily when we're in seperate places. no use kicking up a fuss. clarifying will just cause more unneccessary trouble etc etc. and that not onli we're not seing each other as often, we're not even making time up for it. i duno. i fear trying to plan outings to go out. my view is always neglected, my says, my opinions, my ideas. not considered. you guys never take my words seriously, neither do you spare a thought of my feelings. i may keep quiet all the time but that doesnt mean that i dont feel a thing. im not a furniture around. no contacts and wadsoeva since then, you guys are, wad can i say, worse than people whom i met briefly a month plus ago. through it all, were "frens" cos we HAVE to see each other everyday. im mostly the last to know what is going on/ what has happened around, and if im not the last, its just cos im involved in it or when we meet you just nice have the mood to tell me about it. whatever for? it feels so weird to hear a jumble of sequences of events, and being neglected because i have no idea what on earth has happen. hurt that no one bothered to keep me in mind. and that no one has ever bother to tell me about it. then again. could it be my neglect due to my addiction of games. i know people who i had neglected when i rushed off to play maple in the past. i even had god-relatives who onli tok to me when our two familes go off for a holiday. pathetic? yes. i know. although the gap is not entirely my fault, im trying my best to bridge that gap between us, doing within my means. im hoping for a 2 way cooperation from all, but there seems to be distrust between all of us. again i dunno what to say. sometimes i think people are just putting on an act. the most impt day to me in the year seems to be a joke to you. then again its just better and easier for my heart to take in by just not thinking so indepth. maybe not all the people around me sees friends the way i do. maybe you think i could be as easily discarded as some trash. but easily recalled back when you want me. true, im those 重感情 kinda people. im not of the age where i can see thru people like my parents does. i cant differ hypocrites and liars. but i hope when i move on to my next stage of life, i'll be able to find. them.

-RANTINGS finito-

zzz my train of thots are disturbed!!! man! mummy have to pick this time to show me her wedding pics. hah.
erm, the things are jumbled up. so you know you dont have to understand them. spur of a moment thing. i dont need you to understand either, i could just bring this to my grave easily but my heart cant take all this fuck anymore. im fine suffering alone as always.
then again, i wont care. NO comments and NO referring of this post. :D

it sucks to have birthdays in the holidays. although my work frens are able to celebrate my birthday conveniently in a chalet, family & kor a whole day. but my gfs onli celebrated with me for a mere less than an hour before rushing off to other places. hey man. im not complaining i know of your MONEY SHORTAGES but outing please. soon. clarifying, i dont care for presents, but i mind not being able to see you peeps.